You are my life.. I love you sweetheart.. You gave my life a new meaning and a new reason to live . They say " As a Mother you are born again " That is so true sweety. You came into my life and my life changed 180 degrees. I am not the same person anymore. Being your mom is the most proudest thing i have ever done in my life darling.
Oct 4th 2008 was the date ... An angel was brought into my life ....
I was admitted in Apollo hospital, Chennai on 3th Oct at around 10.30 pm . The due date was actually 14th Oct but then my amniotic fluid was very less so doc suggested i get admitted on 3rd itself. When i was walking towards the hospital there was huge number of things going on my mind. i actually kept a normal and relaxed expression but deep inside the fear i had.. only i knew. We walked inside and got an admission for delivery. The people accompanying me that night was My Hubby, Mom , Dad and my Mom-in-law. I was sent to the labor ward. The room looked scary and my heart was beating so hard. I kept my hand on my tummy and was telling in my mind that "Baby you would be born anytime now" as tears ran down my face. My mom was with me in the room and Hubby and Dad were waiting in the waiting room. A nurse came and attached the heart rate machine which shows the heartbeat of me and baby. Then she said early morning we will start the delivery process so take rest now.. How the hell can i take rest now.. i was so damn scared inside thinking of the labor pain and everything...i was walking around here and there. In the next room there was a girl who just delivered a baby boy. So i went to have a look at that baby. she was telling me her experience which scared me to death. But when i saw that small baby i thought inside "Hey Jen don't u worry u r soon going to get a cute Lil baby like this ". Then i walked back to me room and lied down as so many things were running on my mind.
I had not known the sex of the baby yet, but deep inside something told me that it was a boy. Ben wanted a girl just like me. I had decided names for both boy and girl. The time was around 3am 4th Oct and i was feeling drowsy now and suddenly a nurse came inside and said that doc will come 4am and will start the procedure . So she gave me enema and asked me to take the "pains " medicine. after eating that i had a sharp pain in lower abdomen. I was wondering when the water will break.. cos no sign of that. i could feel my baby moving inside very actively shaking hands and legs and kicking me hard. I started getting contractions and it was painful. Then the duty doc came and started checking how much i am dilated .. My God !!! This process was worse than contractions.. I was dying literally. She said i am dilated only 1 and half centimeters and that i had to be atleast 8 cm dilated for baby to come out. That was so scary now.. How many hours more i should wait now ??? Contractions started at 4 am and it lasted till 1pm and doc kept coming and checking if i am dilated enough an still i was only 2 cms dilated and moreover it was so painful tha i kept shouting like hell. The doc was angry and asked me do u want normal delivery or not? i said yes .. she said then you will have to bear the pain now.. Then My doc came in "Dr Waheeda suresh " and she also checked my status and said that the vaginal canal and is very narrow and she is dilated just about 3 cms and even if we have to do a normal delivery then we will have to use forceps.. My mom-in -law who happened to be a gyno too suggested that we don't have to do a forceps delivery and we can continue with C-section. The time was 2pm as they took me to the OT. Everyone was so worried . My mom was literally in tears and gave me courage not to worry . My hubby was so damn tensed and i couldn't even see his face . As i was carried in the bed to the OT my hubby walked with me. we had to go to the next floor. So in the lift he gave a smile and i could see his face was horrified with tension and his eyes showed how much he was scared. The last words he told me was " Be brave mu, you can do it " That was the last minute i touched his hands and i was carried into the OT now.
Another worst thing happened inside the OT that i had to wait outside the operating room as one more patient was getting delayed.. There i saw people walking with aprons filled with blood and nasty scenarios. My heart beat went high. Suddenly i couldn't feel the baby moving and i was damn scared and literally crying. On top of it severe contractions pain and catheter was attached which made me so uncomfortable. there was no one around. i was screaming is anyone there and no one answered. i cant even get up from bed as the catheter was attached to me. i was outside the theatre for almost an hour now.
Then my doc came out in a hurry and said she is done with the previous patient and am next. i told her that i cant feel my baby moving. They hurried me inside the theatre. It looked so so scary inside. my God!!! . i thought that's the end of my life and am never gonna see another day. They placed me in the operating bed and the Anesthetist came to me and introduced himself and told me that they are going to place me on General Anesthesia and they attached a cup in my mouth and everything looked dim and i was gone .... Cant remember anything after that . When my eyes open i am being brought out of the OT and i can hear voices but still cant see anything. just can see some faint images.. Could hear the doc shouting Jennifer are u OK?.. Then the next voice i heard was Hubby's . He is like ammu ammu can u see me. I kept murmuring something .. i was all the time saying there is sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I literally could feel the cut at the lower abdomen and it pained like hell. words cant describe it. i asked Ben is the baby a boy or a girl. He said its a boy and he looks like sharukh khan.
The horrifying part was when they operated me only they saw that there was no water inside and it was the right time they did the operation or else it would have been a dangerous situation for me and the baby.
They then carried me to the recovery room where no one was allowed . i was able to see a lil clear now .. but was everything was shaky. i wanted to see baby badly. so i shouted out anyone there and one nurse came to me with the baby and she showed the baby to me and asked me to feed him.. Baby was gorgeous.. Tears just fell down my cheeks as i carried him in my arms and looked into his eyes . They were half closed . He was pink in color. And looked exactly like me. A chinky face just like mine.. The nurse then took the baby away and said that she will bring him once i get shifted to my room. Then i asked her if i can meet my hubby .. she said no one is allowed inside the recovery room. i called out another nurse who happened to be our church mate.. she secretly allowed Ben to come in. He came inside and looked at my face and said " I love you and thanks for the sweetest gift. i just spoke to him few mts and he left.
After about 1 hr they transferred to my room . I woke up in consious after about 3 hrs after the delivery. Now i could see everyone around. My mom, dad , hubby and the sweetypie baby. But so much pain i didn't expect at all. I couldnt even lift myself up. I was just lying like a dead body there. i had severe cough due to the anesthesia ..and every time i coughed i had a very bad pain in my uterus and lower abdomen. I couldnt do anything. couldnt even laugh ... The first day was very very tough. The next day was the same but i wanted to get up from bed. So i somehow got up from bed and landed my feet on the ground like a hero... God!!! so much pain i cant even lift my body up.. was bending and standing in 45 degrees angle. looked so odd and heart breaking.. Hence i started walking and moving around so that i can stand on my feet. The catheter was removed the Third day and i started to eat solids again. So the 4th day was ready to be discharged.
What an experience ... can never forget even a single bit of this. But every thing's worth it .. I have a beautiful angel right now who was sent by God as the greatest gift of my life "Jonathan Romeo "
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